Monday 21 October 2019

Advice From The Cannibal Chicken

Do you suck at spelling? 
Need to improve your writing skills?
Here is your No.1 Hack - READ!

As a now published author, I was nearly kicked out of teaching college because my spelling was so poor. To fix it, I read books and the words stuck!
So, what to read is the question. Honestly, read what you love. It could be...
  1. Horror: Frankenstein by Mary Shelley is my favourite. A story of love and family.
  2. Fantasy: The Hobbit by JRR Tolkien... crazy ideas, he is a master.
  3. Comedy: The Twits, or any book, by Roald Dahl... insane fun.
  4. Picture books: Alexander and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day... how is your day really?
  5. Information: Everyone Poops... honest and hilarious.
  6. Poetry: Green Eggs and Ham by Dr Seuss. Dr Seuss is another master of writing.
  7. Enchanted: Harry Potter and the Philosophers Stone JK Rowling: my kids just loved it!
  8. Life: The Rainbow Fish by Marcus Pfister. How can one give more?
  9. Feelings: The Red Balloon by A Lamorisse. 
  10. Wild Adventure: Revenge of the Cannibal Chickens by Gavin Lihou. Dead set greatest book of all time!
Let us look randomly at No. 3. Roald Dahl and The Twits! Roald Dahl really does bend the mind of his readers. His use of alliteration and similes is second to none. Ahhhh... but what is alliteration? Here you go my friends, this is writing hack number 2!

Alliteration is the repetition of the same letter or sound of words. Like... She sells sea shells by the sea shore (a great tongue twister). Or... Three grey geese (Mother Goose).
But Dahl is very smart... he writes:

'squiggly spaghetti' (s and as).

'Bogus and Bunce and Bean, one fat one short one lean.' (carries the 'b' for Bogus and Bunce and Bean and even the Bean for lean) from Fantastic Mr Fox.
Roald Dahl also uses similes, but what are similes? This is writing hack number 3!
A simile compares one thing to another:
'Mr Twits beard was like a hairy jungle.'

'He was among the saucepans and machines like a child amongst Christmas presents.'Charlie and the Chocolate Factory.

In order to write well, these are two literary devices* that we should use.

* literary devices: writing talk for stuff we should use in our writing. Make a list of them and add them to your writing and it will improve. Trust me, I am the Cannibal Chicken after all!

So... young paduans (Star Wars reference) I am your Jedi of writing. Follow me and become great writers and change your writing for the best! One book at a time. The Cannibal Chicken will help you to make your writing better, but practice you must have,  my young paduans. So your list is…
  1. Read.
  2. Add alliteration to your writing.
  3. Add similes to your writing. The more personal the better.
And remember to…


And most importantly...


The Cannibal Chicken

Wait for my next writing hack and stay tuned…

If you would like to see for yourself what all of this 'Cannibal Chickens' nonsense is about please follow this link!

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